After attending numerous counseling sessions with a professional Psychologist, after attending 12-step group meetings with SA, and after reading numerous books and accounts that people have written regarding lust in their lives, I have decided to sit down and record events and feelings that have occurred throughout my life which may help me and others to understand how and why this one desire, one of the “Seven Deadly Sins”, was able to slowly seep into my thoughts, take over my mind, control my life, and ultimately grab onto my soul.
Lust; in all its evil ways has tempted me in countless ways ever since I can remember, and it will continue to tempt me all the days of my life. How am I personally controlling this desire in my life today? A simple answer…I’m not. I, a human being with an extremely sinful nature, don’t have the ability to control this desire in my life; I have lost all control. I alone am addicted to sexual lust and the inner feelings of pleasure that it provides to me. According to Webster to be “addicted” is to give oneself up to some strong habit. I gave myself up to this habit a long time ago in exchange for the feelings of power and the mental and physical release and relaxation that it offered to provide me. I have learned to accept the fact that lust and the evils associated with it are more powerful than I am and that I alone do not have the ability to control or stop what it continuously begs me to do.
So how am I able to live a life where lust does not control my actions? I have and continue to turn my life over to a “higher power”. I am giving up trying to be in control of my life and turning control over to Jesus Christ and following Him. He is the only way that I can live a life free of the control of this evil “disease” of the mind. I am learning daily how to put my life completely into His hands. Is lust still tempting? YES…YES, IT IS. For me it is sometimes more tempting and more desirable than anything else I can think of. I have wanted and at times still want what it promises to provide more than life itself. For yourself, imagine somebody or something in this world that you feel you absolutely cannot live without. Maybe you feel that you cannot live without alcohol, gambling, money, drugs, sports, friends, parties, chocolate, the thrill provided by a certain adventure, a very close relationship (including your spouse), cigarettes, absolute security, good health, and even a career. If it is anything other than Jesus Christ and the love He offers and promises, you are fooling yourself, because ultimately that is truly the only thing that you CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT.
If you feel that you cannot or would prefer not to live life without that thing…you have given yourself up to it…you are addicted. You may laugh. I say try and quit - give it up completely forever and see what happens to you; especially your mind. Giving yourself up to some strong habit other than Jesus Christ will ultimately separate you from the love and salvation that Jesus promises…it will control how you think and act and ultimately it will kill your soul forever.
(written by Tim in 2000)
I was born in 1970 in Omaha, Nebraska. Although I went to church all my life, I didn't make Jesus Lord of my life until I was 29 years old. My real relationship with Him began when my marriage fell apart.