Healing Sexual Sin In Marriage

These principals are some of the things we have learned over the last ten years. Even if your spouse is an unbeliever, you can apply most of these ideas yourself and watch what God will do!

1. Forgive from the heart. Don’t throw their sin back in their face. Have pity and mercy. Be more concerned about your spouse’s soul than you are about saving your marriage. See your spouse through God’s eyes. (Matt. 18:21-35)
   
2. Be willing to be vulnerable again. Don’t build up walls. Realize God put you together for a reason and you can learn from each other. There is a reason why opposites attract. One’s strength is the other’s weakness and vice versa. (2 Cor. 12:8-10)
   
3. Work on your personal relationship with God. It is very important to be in the Word of God, the Bible, and really learning from Him. As you grow closer to the Lord you naturally grow closer to each other. (Psalm 119)
   
4. Ask God to show you your own sin. Be more concerned with that than the sin you see in your partner. There is plenty of work to do in your own walk with God! (Psalm 139:23-24)
   
5. Learn how to love selflessly. Try to understand your spouse’s love language and give to them what they desire even if it doesn’t make sense to you. (1 Cor. 13)
   
6. Work on your sex life. Don’t neglect it and don’t withhold from each other. Learn what pleases the other and make time to be together regularly. This is the best way to defeat Satan! Do what you feel comfortable with and enjoy one another the way God intended. (1 Cor. 7:4-6)
   
7. Pray together regularly. And pray for each other. Lift up each other’s burdens in prayer. (James 5:16, 1 Thess. 5:16-18, Gal. 6:2, 2 Thess. 1:11-12)
   
8. Worship the Lord together. Go to church together. Take time to talk about what God is doing in your lives. (Hebrews 10:24-25)
   
9. Make plans together. Be a team. You’re in this walk together; no longer individuals. (Genesis 2:24, Eph. 5:31)
   
10. Remember your roles. The husband is the head, the wife is the helper. Both are equally important. (1 Peter 3)
    
11. The most important thing for a man is respect. The most important thing for a woman is love. Work on this. (Ephesians 5:21-33)
    
12. Don’t be afraid to confront issues in love. Remember that we are helping one another grow in Christ and become more like Him. We are not the Holy Spirit, but after seeking the Lord in prayer and if He is nudging you to talk to your spouse about an issue, then do it – lovingly! (Galatians 6:1)
    
13. Remember the goal is to become more and more like Jesus. Marriage is a great way to do this. It is hard work, but worth it! (Philippians 2:1-18)
    
14. Have lots and lots of grace for one another; and true love (see 1 Cor. 13). Your spouse will not and cannot be perfect.
    

Recommended books: Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, The Power of a Praying Wife (Husband) by Stormie Omartian, A Marriage Without Regrets by Kay Arthur