by Amy Meyer Allen
Have you ever read the devotional “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young? It was given to me by a friend and I just love it. I read it now every morning as part of my quiet time with the Lord. It is written from God’s perspective as if He is speaking directly to you. Let me share an example that hit home with me:
BRING ME ALL YOUR FEELINGS, even the ones you wish you didn’t have. Fear and anxiety still plague you. Feelings per se are not sinful, but they can be temptations to sin. Blazing missiles of fear fly at you day and night; these attacks from the evil one come at you relentlessly. Use your shield of faith to extinguish those flaming arrows. Affirm your trust in Me, regardless of how you feel. If you persist, your feelings will eventually fall in line with your faith.
Do not hide from your fear or pretend it isn’t there. Anxiety that you hide in the recesses of your heart will give birth to fear of fear; a monstrous stepchild. Bring your anxieties out into the Light of My Presence, where we can deal with them together. Concentrate on trusting Me, and fearfulness will gradually lose its foothold within you."
Ephesians 6:16; 1 John 1:5-7, Isaiah 12:2
Recently I was asked to speak at a women’s luncheon for Christian business women. I don’t consider myself a good speaker and get very nervous beforehand. Well, not only was I nervous, but I was being attacked in my thoughts. Satan knows my weak points. I heard someone say that Satan isn’t particularly creative. If he was able to attack you in one area of your life where you are weak, chances are he’ll attack you in the same place again and again because it works. My weak area has to do with my husband. Obviously because of what happened in the past, I get very afraid that Tim will act out again and I’ll be hurt, devastated, etc. Satan knows this and attacks me in this area. So the day before I was to give the speech, not only was I struggling with anxiety about speaking, but I started to have thoughts that Tim was acting out again and that I should snoop around his stuff and prove that I was right. Thankfully I had just finished a Bible study called “Lord, help me grow spiritually strong in 28 days.” I knew that I was being attacked but my feelings were so strong they were hard to ignore and they were becoming obsessive. I didn’t sleep much the night before so the morning of the speech I called a friend and she prayed for me. The feelings didn’t immediately subside but her prayers helped me put my focus back on God and trust Him. When I gave the speech God took over and I wasn’t nervous and delivered well what He had given me to say. Looking back I could more clearly see the warfare surrounding that talk, both on me and my husband. Tim was being attacked in his weak areas as well, but it wasn’t in the way I had imagined. Instead Satan used an old trick from years ago when we lived in Thailand: Tim felt beaten down, depressed and that life wasn’t worth living. That night after the speech, Tim and I were able to talk about what had happened. We both agreed that in the future when we know Satan is attacking us, we should tell one another and pray for one another, rather than let Satan win and start seeing each other as the adversary. I’m grateful that God’s promises are stronger than my emotions. I’m thankful that He wants me to bring all my feelings to Him and that I can trust Him with everything that is happening in my life.
I was born in 1970 in Omaha, Nebraska. Although I went to church all my life, I didn't make Jesus Lord of my life until I was 29 years old. My real relationship with Him began when my marriage fell apart.